The other day a cheerful email popped up in my inbox letting me know a new line of cute, girlie, fashionable SUP apparel had just been launch by That One Women's Beach Apparel Company.
WOW!, I thought. If I were a paddleboarder, I could follow the email's links to shopping paradise to get fully equipped for the season. Along the way, my stoke for the the upcoming season would likely have been amped to frenzy levels. However, I do not SUP.
The times I have, which have been very meditative and quite enjoyable, I wore the same swimsuit, tank top and shorts I wear to the beach or in a raft or under the sprinkler in my backyard while sipping a gin and tonic. My logic for my clothing choices while paddleboarding: Swimsuit stays in place should I errantly paddle myself overboard. Tank and shorts because, well, it was hot out and I was working on my golden tan.
A few friends of mine actually race in SUP events and to this I say KUDOS! It is hard work to say upright and direct the board where I want it to go. To do so while employing speed to beat out other racers is really impressive. Its challenging – I am not mocking SUP people. However. Unless you’re racing in the open ocean where winds could be fierce, or in the PNW where it could be raining and 50 on a mid-August day, does you really need special and expensive apparel specifically designed for SUP’ing? Do we need fashion SUP wear that is different from “fashion” yoga, pilates, climbing at the gym, biking around town, sitting on the couch-wear? Really? If all this niche-popular specialty gear is truly required by our individual “sports” then I’m putting in my request for a specialty dog walking jacket.
Have you ever considered the variable conditions and intensity of walking your dog?! Walking your dog can result in unexpected, dramatic, HUGE adventures! I realize SUP’ing is sexy right now, but lets not underestimate Dog Walking. Like a Rolex, Dog Walking is timeless; it will not go out of fashion. Just because Dog Walking is not featured often in pop-media does not mean your dog needs that walk any less. Now that we've straightened that out....Its time to make apparel specifically designed for the Dog Walker.
The ideal Dog Walking Jacket would include:
Poop Bag Holder – For either the rolls or stacks, user’s choice. Zip them up in a side or back pocket (that does NOT create unflattering bumps and bulges anywhere noticeable) with a little handy opening to pull one out in a flash when Fido takes a dump. This would mitigate that problems that arise if you have one of those little poop bag holders on your dog’s leash but you’re in an off-leash area so don't have your leash with poop bag holder and there are people around watching you. Dog takes a dump? No bag? You just earned World's-Worst-Dog-Owner-Ever status. If you were wearing this Dog Walking Jacket, you would've avoided the shame!
Snack Pocket – A pocket that is washable and securely sealed so that if you stick a handful of Puppy’s treats in there, they wont make your whole jacket stink like chicken bullion. Perhaps this feature of the Dog Walking Jacket could be called the Snack Pack.
Leash Attachment – Have to walk the dog on leash before you hit the off-leash trails? This handy dandy snap-on feature allows you fasten your leash to your jacket for bounce-free security, keeping you “hands free” AND, if you have to run after Fluffy, the leash clasp wont smack you in the face!
Snot/Sweat Wipe – Crisp winter air = runny nose. Fall/Spring blooming and pollen = allergically runny nose. Summer heat = sweaty, runny face into eyes. The entire forearm of one sleeve could just be a massive snot/sweat wipe. Awesome.
Coffee Cup Holder – Walking dogs + morning = coffee cup in hand. But what to do after taking that last sip with more walking still to do? The Dog Walking Jacket would have an elastic and Velcro pull cord tucked inside one hand pocket for just such a challenge. Pull it out of your jacket and give it a gentle tug to be sure elastic is fully extended (kind of like those oxygen bags on an airplane). Slip your cup inside the loop and VOILA, no need to carry the cup in your hand!!
Must also be waterproof, windproof, breathable, not too hot for summer and also warm enough for winter too.
The Dog Walking Jacket. Fully featured. Fashionable. Be ready for your high intensity adventures with Scooby and look cute too! Million dollar idea? BOOM.